A Hint Of Truth

Pumpkin 2

2009-02-12T23:00:00Z

I know I should have been filled with vengeful delight at his fate, but oddly I felt only pity.

All this time exhausted eagerly waiting for him to experience suffering like mine - I guess empathy is the ultimate of buzz-kills.

Won't Hurt A Bit

2009-02-09T23:30:00Z

"Hold still," Jordan told the gathered group of natives. "This won't hurt a bit."

As she clicked the small plastic button and their lifeless bodies slumped to the ground, she reminisced on how clever she was, disguising her newly constructed "soul collector" as a camera.

Really Defined

2009-02-02T22:27:00Z

"Gary, have I ever told you how perfect your neck and shoulder muscles are? Really defined. Is that just from lifting tires or has someone been working out?"

"Charlie - dude, I told you not to say things like that while I'm trying to work. Seriously creeps me out, man."

"Sorry . . . guess I owe someone a relaxing massage."

PomPom For Short

2009-01-29T22:05:00Z

As a gruff, masked man waved a pistol menacingly in the shopkeeper's face and demanded he "hand over the money in the register" amidst a barrage of threats and obscenities, the store's customers could only stare in horrified dismay. Having accepted the fact years ago that he was the only person in his family born without any "remarkable abilities", Matt merely attributed the ever-increasing rumbling and unease deep within his stomach to just such a state of shock and fear. Lucky for the cashier and other patrons, however, his mutant power had finally developed at the most opportune of moments.

With a distinct gagging sound, a red blur shot across the room from the young man's mouth, giving the armed robber little time to react before the firm fruit of knowledge struck him square in the head with an immense force, knocking him unconscious.

While those around him struggled to grasp what had just occurred, Matt fell to his knees in relief and smiled, knowing from that day forward he would be known only as "The Pomaceous Pommeler".

A Grave Error

2009-01-26T23:00:00Z

As Carl felt the painful surge of electricity shoot across his body, he knew he had made a grave error in the construction of his homemade electric baritone ukulele.